Seceret needs
by jusAgurl93x
Summary: CartmanXButters "He's just an asshole, he picks on me, is mean to me, I'm nice to him and he still treats me like crap. I should hate him.. But I cant" I always have loved Eric, Always will. I know he'll never know, Or EVER could feel the same.


"Butters come on, this will be totally sweet and awesome" Eric stood against my door smiling.  
"Kahl will be so sorry on Monday when he wakes up and his stupid precious project is gone!" Eric grinned evilly.  
I could tell he was imagining it all happening, and enjoying his thoughts on his plan.  
I scratched my head looking down.  
Eric already got me into enough trouble as it was.  
I got detention last week for helping Eric get back the school princible.  
I never got detention in my life!  
Why does Eric always want my help anyhow?!  
"Uh.. Eric"  
I see his face drop at my tone.  
I hate to get Eric out of his good mood, But this will just get me into trouble again.  
I need to learn to behave myself. Eric is always getting me into his stuff and it isnt helping.  
"Uh well.. Why do we need to take Kyle's homework Anyways?"  
Eric rolled his eyes but he still seemed jittery physicked about the idea,  
"Because Butters, That stupid fucking jew rat ratted me out last week, when I was simply  
trying to get a few hints on the homework The teacher assigned us" Eric quickly explained. I thought back,  
"You mean when you looked at his homework? Er ah.. I mean cheated?"  
Eric's smile slowly vanished and he raised his eyebrow,  
"No. I was just trying to get some hints butters" Eric Said in a a-matter-of-fact tone.  
"Oh" I said looking down. Maybe Eric was right.  
"So come on!" Eric's smile lit up again,  
"We have to quickly get the school keys from Mackeys apartment!"  
Eric Tugged at my blue T-shirt, and just his touch made my heart pound and I jumped back.  
"Uh.. Uh I..."  
Oh, I HATE when I cant speak around him!  
I frown and nod my head, Eric cant push me around this time.  
"No Eric,I cant get in trouble again! Were going to get caught and w-"  
"Were not going to get caught butters" Eric interupted me. "We'll just sneak out at nine o clock sharp, get into mackeys house,  
break into the school, get into the art room, get into the art closet, Grab Kahl's project and throw it in the dumpster on the way out"  
Eric Crossed his arms cockily, "By the time school starts tomorrow the garbage from last night will already be gone" Eric smiled, Satisfied with himself.  
'But Eri-"  
"Ok, I'll stop by your house tonight and get you, then we can go over and do it"  
Eric already looked jittery and excited, He turned to my door, "Tonight Butters" He said to me.  
Eric looked back and when his eyes locked to mine, I felt the hairs on my arms go up, and my spine tingle.  
"Butters?"  
I shook my head, I realized I was starring again. Stupid eyes. Why do I always do that?  
"Oh uh. Ok"  
Eric smiled and slammed the door in my face. A few seconds went by and I sighed walking with my head down.  
I knew I would go along with whatever Eric wanted me too anyway. Even when I didn't want too he got me to do things.  
I dont know why I do what I tell him, I just do.  
I wonder why Eric aways wants to pick fights with Kyle anyways.. the more I think about it,It makes me kind of angry.  
Why is Eric so focused on makeing him unhappy? That almost always is his focus. Sometimes I wish Eric could give me the attention like he does  
kyle. But I guess having him acknowledge me for helpin him out and supportin him is better then him not acknowledging me at all.  
"Stupid Eric" I mutter to myself, walking to the cabinet to get a cup for chocolate milk. I get the milk and start to pour it into the cup.  
"Always tryin to get me in trouble" My fist tightens on t5he milk jug jug and the container slipped from my hand onto the floor with a thud.  
The milk formed a puddle and my eyes went wide with fear.  
"BUUUTTTEEERRS!" I hear my dad yell from the living room.  
"Y-Y-Yes Dad!?"  
"Did you knock something over?!  
"N-No Sir! Nothing knocked over! Nothing at all" I yelled.  
"Oh. Alright butters. Good or else your going to be grounded"  
I quickly went to the cabnit accross me, and grabbed a paper towel turning around to-  
"Butters!"  
I jumped at my mom's voice and swirled seeing her slam two brown grocery bags on the counter.  
"You spilled the milk again?!"  
"I-I Uh-"  
"Butters!" My dad walked into the living room, "You said you didn't spill milk you little LIAR!"  
"I uh, I didnt mean to-"  
"UPSTAIRS!" Dad yelled at me, "Think about what you've done!"  
I shook my head, "Oh jesus" I trudged my feet slowly up the steps. "I need to behave myself" I thought to myself angrily.  
Why did I have to lie to dad what was the point of that? I should know better then that, Why if I were my son I outta be grounded for a week.  
"Your grounded two weeks butters" I heard my dad say behind me when I got up my last step.  
"Yes sir" I mumble. I shut my door behind me.  
"Stupid self" I mutter to myself I look in the mirror and frown at myself. "Happy now?" I ask my reflection.  
My stupid lying reflection. "I deserve to be grounded for lying like that" I told myself aloud and got onto my bed.  
I fell on my bed, felt and heard the paper crumple beneth my pillow. I toke them out..  
No one knows this but sometimes I like to make drawings of people I knew, cut them out and play with them, some cut outs.  
I made two of my parents when they get me steamed, I can pretend I'm giving them punishment.  
I made some of my friends at school like of Kenny, Clyde, Stan, Kyle, Eric.. I toke out my two paper dolls of Eric and Me cutouts.  
I guess I forgot to put them back in my closet, I was playin with them last night.  
I looked at Cartman, the cut out shape and drawing of him in my hand. I used him alot.  
I used him when I got mad at Eric for always using me for something, or being mean to me. Why do I always do things for him when he's.. Well  
when he's mean to me like that anyhow?  
I sighed, Oh well.  
I picked up Eric's cut out and made him stand next to mine, "Hey butters" I imitated Eric's voice.  
"Well, Hey there Eric" I moved my paper Character with my other hand.  
"Butters, I want you to know you are my best friend, and I will value you forever and ever"  
I smile, "Why Thanks Eric that Ah, That real means a lot to me. Your my best pal"  
"butters, I like you better then Kahl"  
"Thanks Eric, I like you too.. A lot lot.."  
I shook Erics cut out piece, "I like you alot lot too butters."  
Huh.. A few minutes of silence went by. I didnt move, just store at Eric's character.  
Whenever My imagination gets to this kinda part I get butterflys.. I start feelin..  
_Click_ "Butters?"  
I threw my arms out, "Ahh!" both of my paper characters fell to the floor.  
My mom put her hnd to her mouth from my reaction, "Butters? Are you Alright?"  
"Oh uh.. Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine mom" wooh. smokies. scared me.  
"Oh well Ok. Just checking on you. Oh, and Your father says early bedtime tonight sense you got grounded"  
"Oh uh, Alright mom"  
Mom smiled and I let out a deep breath when she left. Like my chest finnaly started breathin  
again. I get off my bed and grab my paper dolls of Me and Eric and Stuff them back into the closet and shut it.

* * * * * * * * *

When my Chores were done and parents sent me to my room to go to sleep.  
Had to go to bed at 9' o clock tonight. I deserve it. I shouldn't lie to my parents then get rewarded by staying up late anyway.  
Got onto my bed and into my covers. My favorite covers, My blue furry one. I remember Eric slept with it a few times.  
I think he drooled on it once, but I never told him about it. Eric snores in his sleep.. sometimes mumbling things.  
Just thinkin about how Eric slept with this makes me... I dunno. I think I'm a fag sometimes.

'Tank'  
'Tank'  
I look up to my window.  
'Tank'  
I look out my window and jump,  
"E-Eric?!"  
I see him in my front yard with a rock in his hand, about to throw another one.  
He was frowning, "Butters! Get your ass down here!"  
"Wha.. Why?!"  
Eric rolled his eyes irritated, "To get Khal back you dumbass, get down!"  
I huffed feelin my stomach, No way. I'm not gettin into more trouble again for him.  
"Eric I cant" I say down to him.  
I can see Erics expression dissolving into his 'I'm pissed off' look. It never takes long for that to happen.  
"Why the hell not?!"  
"Because Eric!" I yell back, Trying to look as intimidating as he's making me feel.  
"You already got me in trouble and I'm going to get grounded again!"  
Eric rolled his eyes like I'm some little kid or somethin, "Butters, You always get grounded.  
Just sneak out, you'll be back before they even know you left"  
I was about to argue but Eric already turned around and walked to the other side of my house.  
I huff out loud. "Christ On a stick" I mumble to myself grabbing a chair, so I can lift myself out the window.  
"They better not know I'm gone" I mutter. Or else I'm REALLY going to get it.  
Why am I doing this anyway? Going against my parents? Why does Eric always want to get me goin in a direction where  
I'll get introuble? I get jmy left foot on out the window, Oh well.  
Just gotta help Eric out, and get home before My parents even know I'm gone.  
I got to the last branch on the tree, stepped on it then stepped down.  
"Butters!" The voice rang in my ear to my left, I looked and Saw Eric in Black clothing. I went to him and looked up and down.  
"Uh Eric.. Why are you dressed like that?"  
Eric Was looking at me up and down in annoyance, "What the hell are you wearing Butters?!" He yelled.  
I jumped, surprised at his frustrated tone then looked down at my clothes, "Uh, Well I'm wearing my blue T-Shirt and p-"  
"No I mean, Why the HELL are you dressed in Colors Butters?! When your going to break in somewhere your suppose to wear all  
black in disguise you dumbass!"  
I gasped, It all came back to me now. Eric talked to me about it earlier, breaking into house and the school,  
Oh golly what have I gotten myself into?! I cant do this!  
"Eric, I uh, No! I cant break into nowhere! I'm not gettin in trouble"  
"Ugh" Eric rolled his eyes and grapped his large hand over my skinny arm, "Just help me Butters!" He pulled me  
one way. "No!" I tried yanking back but he's too strong.  
"Butters, I swear to god just fucking help me! What kind of friend are you?! Friends help friends get back at other friends. Ok? Now COME ON!"  
I store at Eric Long and hard.. I could smell the sweat from Eric's face. Then it hit me, He called me friend.  
Is that really what he thinks of me?  
As his 'friend'?  
I sighed, I know I'll regreat this but.. I cant turn him down now. I just cant.  
I guess Eric Read my mind because he started pulling me again down the street and I walked with him.  
When Eric Noticed I wasn't resisting anymore he let go. Hm.. Is it weird to say I didnt WANT him to let go?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Eric Reached behind his back grabbing his flashlight and turning it on.  
"So uh.. Eric? Where are we headin off too first?"  
Eric glanced at me, then back onto the street, no one was out at this time of night. it was about tweelve-ish.  
"Mackey's house to get the keys"  
"Uh.. Uh, Eric?" I say nervously, knowing I'll regret even suggesting to stop what were doing because Eric will get Cranky  
again. "How about we just avoid this whole thing and um, and not take Kyle's project away?"  
I clench my eyes expecting a 'shut up butters' 'no butters' or 'Just cause butters, now keep your goddamn mouth shut' yelling at me.  
Instead he kept pulling, "Because Kahl has to learn his lesson."  
"Uh.. And whats the lesson?"  
Eric looks at me again with a puzzled look on his face then up to the sky as if he's thinking of an answer.  
"Uh, So he knows to mind his goddamn business."  
"Oh"  
I know it was wrong, Well I mean that Eric was wrong, But I know Eric wont stop what he's doing.  
He already dragged me into it, might as well get it over with. Then straight back home before my parents could ever find out.  
"There it is" Eric rushed me over to a bush and crouched down.  
"Mr. Mackeys house. You stay here and watch gaurd. I know the code for his garage system thing to open"  
Eric Smiled evilly. "Uh.. Wella, How do you know what it is?"  
Eric toke his backpack out from behind grabbing a rope and bobby pin out of it, "I have my ways butters" he says getting the stuff out.  
"Whats that fo-"  
"Shh! Be right back. If you see any cops coming mew for me"  
Eric jumped from the bush and close to the street where the house leads up,  
"Uh, MEW for you?!" I whispered barley,  
Eric whipped around annoyed,  
"Yeah. Like a cat Butters, Meow loud" He turned back around and started walking up to the house.  
"Oh jesus" I tap my fingers nervously onto my pants, I feel my heart thumping loudly.  
I watch Eric go clloser and closer to the house, then in the distance doing something to the door code and it opened.  
He disapiered in side. "Oh god" I mumble to myself. Seem's like I'm even more nervous when I cant see him anymore.  
I keep tapping my knee. Every second goes by and I feel more parinioid. Why did I even agree to do this?!  
What if I get caught?! What will My parents do?! Stupid Eric, and His stupid head with his stupid plans.  
Outside was completely silent.

A few minutes went by and Eric's still in the house.  
Still don't hear nothin.  
Then the hairs on my arm prick up when I hear an engine.. an engine.. coming right this way.  
I gasp looking over from the sticks in my face from the branches and.. Yep! Yep, theres a car commin up here all right!  
The lights are showing, "Oh jesus!" I yell.  
I dont know what to do, I panic, Oh my god, oh my god.  
"Uh, Uh. Meow.." I say quietly, "meow.."  
"MEOW!" I yell loudly.  
"MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW-"  
A hand clasped over my mouth and I screamed louder, "MEEEEEPHHH!"  
"Butters SHUT THE HELL UP!" I heard in my ear, I instantly calmed down. Thank mary of jesus. Its just Eric.  
Eric forced me to look at him, "WHERE ARE THEY?!"  
"They!.. They uh.." I looked around. I guess the car passed. They just passed.  
"Oh.. Well.. they were just here."  
Eric's brown eyes pierced into mine. I could read them, I knew him that well. Right now he's angry or annoyed.  
Cartman put his hand to his head, which lets me know it was annoyed, "God damnit butters, you made me haul my ass out here thinking  
someone was comming and there wasent even anyone here!"  
"I-I'm sorry! There was someone here Eric, I promise there was!"  
"Ugh. Jesus Christ butters, did they even come up to the house."  
I store at him blankly. Well, Why would he care about that? "Well.. Uh, No Bu-"  
"JESUS Christ Butters" Eric held his two fingers to his forhead,  
"Well I didnt even-"  
"Uh, Whatever butters. Not my fault your stupid. Don't do the code unless your sure the car is checking on US, not just  
driving down the fucking street!"  
I held back on Eric's words. I hate when he does this. Why does he have to be so mean to me?  
"I know now, I'm sorry"  
Eric rolled his eyes, "Whatever, Lets just get to the school"  
I frowned looking down to the ground but following along. I don't want to do this,  
But I do anyway.

We get to the school and Eric has me stand guard again.  
I asked him why I have to stand gaurd, How come I cant go in with him but he said this was easier  
then me, 'fucking something up'  
Stupid Eric. I wouldnt fuck anything up. Makes me angry thinking about it.  
Well Eric Came out with Kyle's science project. A big tube like thing glued onto a plate form.  
Eric came out with a huge grin and carried it out, "Hahaha, Butters, See this? See this?" Eric asked me.  
"Yeah.." I say cautiously.  
"Now.. Watch"  
Eric walks over my the garbage dump and tosses it in, then starts laughing,  
"He worked so fucking hard on that thing!" Eric slammed his hand on the ground from laughing.  
I bit my lip. How was this so funny?  
I couldn't help but feel a big feeling of guilt in my stomach. I remember Kyle being proud of it, Why did I help Eric get rid  
of it? Im a bad person, I should have never agreed to it.

"Eric.. I think that was wrong, You shouldn't have done that"  
Eric gets up off the ground still laughing then caught his breath, his eyes filled with joy.  
What an asshole. He finds pure happiness knowing he destroyed someones homework assignment.  
WHy do I like him anyway? At all?!  
"It's Ok butters" Cartman says with a grin, I was about to yell at him, No its NOT OK!  
But once Eric toke a hold of my arm and started guiding me in a different direction still laughing, I couldn't find the words.  
I was so set on the thought That Erics hands are lingering onto me as he laughs, supporting himself not to fall over.  
"It'll be so fucking funny when he goes to school tomorrow!" he laughs.  
The usual me would know, By golly this wasn't right and I should do something about it.. But all these butterfly's came up.  
As if the guilt just vanished, I like seeing Eric Smile. Even if he is a huge asshole having to ruin it for someone to do it, I still like his smile..  
Oh jesus. Not these thoughts again.  
I shake my head, my arm still tingling knowing Eric's holding onto me, "Dude I cant wait" Eric Says.  
I cant hear him.. All I can do is feel every inch of his hands on me, When he did let go I wished He would grab me again.  
I wanted to grab his arm but I resisted. Maybe I Really AM a fag. I've had these thoughts with Eric for a.. long time.  
"Well, See ya butters" Eric said and turned around. I realized I was already at the front of my house. Guess Eric walked me back and now  
was walking in his direction.  
I turned around slowly, I could still almost feel Eric's hand around my arm again.. Oh Jesus.  
I gotta stop this.  
I go inside and shut the door behind me.  
"Butters!"  
I jump at the voice. Oh No! I forgot! I'm suppose to be grounded!  
Mom came into sight in the living room, "Butters! What were you doing out?!"  
My dad got next to her with the equal looking angry face as mom, "Your in big trouble mister!"  
"Oh jeez.."

* * *

**Authors note:**  
_Ok I know.. I was writting emery leaves. but writers block.. I dont even knnow if im going to do that one actually.  
Thinking of just deleting it. I want to do this one :)  
I've been thinking of CartmanXButters for the last couple days now and realized.. theuy could be way cute too.  
I mean they have more sexual scenes in the real southpark then Kyle and Cartman ever had! (But I still love that couple too ;) )  
I'm going to do this story.. tell me what you think of it!  
Good comments? Some advice? whatever, Let me know! :)_


End file.
